PeevePile • A Pet Peeve Archive » If you wore those pants on the train, don't sit on my bed!

If you wore those pants on the train, don't sit on my bed!

I have a "bed thing," or a "CLEAN bed thing." The clothes that you wear out and about, those pants you wore on the bus or while you sat on the curb waiting, or that shirt you wore while you leaned on that TRASH CAN or dirty wall, CANNOT be worn when you sit on or in my bed. EW.

— Peeve Me Baby, One More Time from san francisco | Hygiene | 7.25.2009 | Comments (15)

I have a friend like you. You people are weird. You're my peeve.

— Matt

While I don't experience this irritation, I've encountered those who do. Is it safe to say this mostly bothers women?

— Biffy

My friend who has this issue is a woman. Let me clarify something, I think the bed thing is weird because in any given day our bodies come in contact with thousands of potentially disgusting places...so, unless your constantly washing your hands, everyone is probably pretty gross. Why is the best different? Do you have to wash your hands after you take off your pants? Or you legs?

— Matt

Smells like an irrational hygiene proclivity . . . (although I hate shoes on carpet, so who am I to judge?)

— Jessica

Once you start being afraid of dirt, there's no logical place to stop. One hygiene peeve is just as good as another. If you live in a city, you are swimming in other people's microscopic filth ALL DAY LONG.

— Stuart

There is nothing "logical" about dirt aversions -- that's the point. I know "Peeve Me Baby" and she'll fling herself onto a filthy volleyball court all damn day if you let her -- she just won't sit on her bed afterwards. ;)

— Snatch

I am a before-bed showerer (just raised that way), which only encourages the 'feeling of clean' that I enjoy as I climb into bed fresh out of the shower. Anyway, my peeve really started after I dated a guy who didn't share my peeve and it was so annoying to climb into crumb/pebble-ridden sheets, which is ALMOST as annoying as judgemental people.

— orig. poster -aka Matt's Peeve

I think we've all learned an important lesson here: people are different, and we should stay away from people who are different than we are, or at the very least, not date them. I'll find that girl living in a harry, pebble filled, brown bed, and we'll make sweet love in it forever.

— Biffy

I think it's funny that you consider me one of the "judgmental people" when you are clearly one yourself (as shown in your judgment of the guy you used to date). I think it's fair to say we're both judgmental, just you have a dirt phobeia (ok, that's not fair to say, but it is fun)...

— Matt

Wow I thought this peeve was going to be ABOUT people who had this issue, not written by one of the neurotic germaphobes most normal people get peeved by.

— Blorb posted 7/25/2009

OMG, I can't agree more with this peeve! I mean, how could you even think for a second that it's ok for you to sit on my clean bed in your nasty old pants that wore while sitting at a bus stop, then on a bus seat, where all sorts of sordid, dirty butts sat, by the hundreds of thousands?! Sick, dude! But anyway, that's why I bought a bed spread, for your dirty old butts. ha ha, and I SO agree with the original peeve.

— Stink Butt posted 7/25/2009

How refreshing that there are other people out there with common sense. I couldn't agree with you more! The first time my husband put his dirty SHOES on the bed to tie them, I thought I would BARF. The same shoes that had walked through O'Hare airport from our honeymoon-- The same shoes that he wore to the Cubs game the week before that (and visited the pee-soaked mens room). It's understood that my bedroom is OFF LIMITS, period, and especially my bed. If anyone sat on my bed with their nasty ass pants that have been who-knows-where I would FREAK. Ugh. Nothing grosser than other peoples' dirt and funk.

— Oh See Dee posted 7/28/2009

Putting shoes on the bed is just unsanitary. I am no germophobe by any measure. Not at all. But putting shoes you have worn outside on you sheets? That's just trailer-ass. Gross.

— Aj posted 7/28/2009

...What about shoes on the couch? Or in the house?

— Oh See Dee posted 7/29/2009

My husband used to put a gym bag on my side of the bed. Right on to the sheets. I finally had to say that I didn't want something that had been on the airport floor on my sheets. That fixed it. Although, maybe I could've just made my bed, so it wouldn't be on my sheets. Nah! Shoes on a table or counter are bad luck. Or so I was raised to believe.

— helenel posted 9/12/2009

When parents start voicemail messages with "hey [name], it's your mother/father." » My husband does this with his kids! It never fails to drive me bugshit! – Mindy 7/26

Grubby, tangled haired children. » Keeping clean is one thing; the kids I see don't even start out clean. Parents and kids both seem to roll out of bed and go to the local WalMart (where else?) without so much as running as hairbrush through their hair or taking a bar of soap to their bodies. I think we can be quite sure they don't know what a toothbrush is for! The trend of wearing pajama bottoms in public needs to stop as well. – Mindy 7/26

When strangers try to touch my children. » Good god, it's like you read my mind. I absolutely hate it when I'm in the grocery store and people touch my son's feet or poke his little cheeks. Yes, I know he's the cutest thing on this earth but THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN TOUCH HIM – CakeThief 7/24

Air quotes. » use shocker quotes instead. form shocker with fingers, bend to mimic quoting action. – kn obel 7/22

When non-white street beggars call me racist when I don't give them money. » I always want to know if people would feel equally as badly if the opposite were true. Like, if you only gave money to non-white street beggars out of guilt/fear of being perceived as racist. That's racism, too, right? Right? No one complains about that one... – Chelsea 7/22

When non-white street beggars call me racist when I don't give them money. » Ugh. This happened to me when I declined to sign a petition without even hearing what it was about (I was also not a registered voter in that state AND was in a hurry). Jeez, I'm not racist! I hate all petition signature gatherers equally. – Kate 7/21

02.11.10

Send in your mobile phone pet peeves for the week of February 15th! Perhaps the simplest and most common generator of peeves, the mobile phone prods and pricks us in all places, public and private. With skull phones just around the corner, it’s likely these peeves will soon become irrelevant—so let’s spray them across the galaxy while we still can.

01.18.10

For the next week or so, the pictures for peeves will be of Peeve Pile’s national spokesperson, Rob Grace, and his special person, Shana, enacting various peeves. Please feel free to make such pictures yourself. Just include a link to them when submitting a peeve.

01.02.10

Hello. I’ve added a voting feature, so you can vote as you assume that you would – just click on a one-to-five star rating (it will tell you your vote has been recorded); five indicating that you completely agree with, or find the peeve amusing, one meaning the opposite.

Once a bunch of ratings are in, I’ll add a worst, and best rated area to the right column.