PEEVE ››
Mothers who keep telling me that "I'll change my mind", after I tell them that I don't want kids.
I have this happen to me all the time: in-laws, co-workers, etc. It's getting to the point where I've stopped telling people that I don't want kids, and just tell them that I can't have any due to a medical condition. Unfortunately, this white lie doesn't bring me peace either, because the "sympathy" begins. It's my choice whether or not I want kids, I don't need to be told that I'll change my mind, or that you feel so sorry for me, since I can't have any.
— Mitsu from Ottawa, Ontario | Other | 7.13.2009 | Comments (15)
COMMENTS ››
I just tell people I really don't like kids. That usually shuts them up and they're too stunned to come back with anything. :)
— Jen posted 7/13/2009
OMG, I hear this one all the time too and it pisses me off to no end! When people found out my sister was pregnant, I kept hearing, "Ohh, once you hold her baby, you'll DEFINITELY want one too!" and then giving me these all-knowing looks. As much as I love her kid, I still don't want one. I'm 39 and this is not going to change. Get over it, people and mind your own f'in business!!
— T-Rex posted 7/13/2009
Ug, I had this same conversation with a friend just yesterday! You'd think the fact that I've been a kindergarten teacher for four years and am not clamouring to get knocked up Might indicate it's not happening, right?
— Anzi posted 7/13/2009
Telling people you don't like kids works pretty well!
— Brooke posted 7/13/2009
It's no ones business to try to influence anyone in either direction. I'm talking about all the parents out there that patronizingly let me know that kids are alot of responsibilty and hard work. And the ones that clearly resent their kids...
— personaldecay posted 7/14/2009
People need to realize it's a choice. One choice is not better or worse than another. Everyone's situation and motivations for their choice is different. You know, maybe some people will change their minds. But nobody should assume or judge people for a choice like childbearing.
— Aj posted 7/14/2009
I've had people badger my husband and I in subtle and quite direct ways over the years, and have insinuated that our decision not to have children is a selfish one, and then in the same breath, this question: "So who's going to take care of you when you get old?" ...Wait, what?
— seeyounextuesday posted 7/28/2009
Haaa. I told one old coot at the hospital I worked at years ago who liked meddling in my business (real stone-cold serious look on my face)that the reason my husband and I didn't have kids is because I wasn't born with any "Lady parts". Oh, the look on her face-- I thought her dentures were gonna fall out. I think she was too embarrassed to even think about asking about adoption. She never EVER asked me again about "are you two ever gonna have some babies?" BWAAAHAHAHAAA
— get outta my womb! posted 7/28/2009
get outta my womb, that's awesome. i've had various mother figures (my mom, my mother in law, my best friend's mom) tell me that i will change my mind about: - not having kids - being interested in cooking - being an atheist - not exercising cause, you know, obviously everyone's life experience and personality is exactly the same. sheesh.
— daughterinlaw posted 9/21/2009
As a parent of one and one on the way, I would never dream of telling anyone that they'll change their mind or anything as insulting as that! Yeah, I love my son to pieces and am looking forward to the new one coming, but man, I wouldn't recommend it to everyone. Where do people get off telling someone else what to do with their lives? And what's your reaction supposed to be: "Oh, you're right...I'll go have one RIGHT NOW..."??
— Yorkie posted 9/29/2009
OMG, I have a kid, but it is so not for everyone (even me, some days)- I previously did not think I wanted children and I don't for a minute forget the wonderful pre-child luxuries I miss (sleeping late, eating when I wanted, going out at night). And SELFISH? I don't get that either - it's not selfish that people who don't parent, and put their children in jeopardy get to have kids?!!!
— grammar cat posted 12/7/2009
It's more selfish to bring a life into a world none of us are that stoked on, without its prior agreement.
— posted 3/12/2010
If you don't have a kid people keep asking, "when are you going to have one?" If you have one then they start asking, "when are you having another one?" It never ends!
— Chippy posted 2/22/2012
Yep, I feel you all, I hate it when people say I will change my mind... and they always do. I am 31 I have never wanted kids and I never will, and if for someone reason I did, I will adopt a kid who someone else couldn't take care of. The thing that really bothers me about it though, is that if I was a man no one would even question that I didn't truly want one. And it offends me so much that so many people feel that my sole purpose in life is to be a baby maker. It's not damn it!
— Hanna posted 4/11/2013
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