PeevePile • A Pet Peeve Archive » When people you aren't interested in think you're interested in them and let you know by saying they have a boyfriend or girlfriend.

When people you aren't interested in think you're interested in them and let you know by saying they have a boyfriend or girlfriend.

I ran into a girl who I recognized from college at the Super Market. We talked for about four seconds before she made a point of bringing up the fact she has a boyfriend. Can't I make polite conversation with out it meaning I want to fuck you? Is the only way to prove that I'm not some desperate loser harboring a crush for almost a decade to pretend I don't recognize you?

— Matt P from New York, NY | Relationships | 10.27.2008 | Comments (6)

I can understand why mentions of an s.o. in a short conversation with an acquaintance would seem superfluous here, but often there’s no such ulterior motive. In my experience, after being with someone for a while and having the person be a big part of your life, the free associative nature of thought can make it feel odd to NOT make a reference, especially if small talk has veered in a direction which makes the doings of the s.o. relevant. Like someone says, "I just got back from China" and you haven’t just gotten back from China but want to have something productive to add so you say "Oh, my boyfriend had a wonderful time there just a few months ago, but his asthma really acted up because of the air quality" or something. In a situation like that, if I said "friend" instead of "boyfriend," I would feel like I was trying to deny my boyfriend’s existence and sketchily keep my options open.

— Diana posted 10/27/2008

This is an ideal peeve because it puts the peevee in an awkward situation (not being able to retaliate) and is wicked presumptuous of the peever. Diana, I think it's completely fair that a boyfriend would come up, but in many cases it comes out of NOWHERE. Trust me on this one.

— Biffy posted 10/27/2008

Somewhat related is the fact that my older sister can't go three minutes after being introduced to a new person before mentioning her husband and children. In her case (and also maybe in some cases with the boyfriend mention) it's not that she thinks the other person is interested in her, but it's that her husband and babies are THAT central to her identity.

— Hairnette posted 10/28/2008

I understand that there's people's identities that are wrapped up in their relationships. Codependency aside, I'm talking situations where it's something like "Hey, how you been?" and the answer is something like "I'm good. And so is my boyfriend." And that's when I think "fuck you."

— Matt P posted 10/28/2008

Yes, this happens to women to... You can be making pleasant chit chat, say, in the... OFFICE and wham! "my girlfriend". On the other hand, it's nice to get the "my girlfriend" reference when you ARE interested in someone so that you can avoid, say, knowing someone for three years and then being surprised that he's married the girl he's been dating for several years. Not even one "my girlfriend" reference in all that time! (But plenty of innuendo!)

— Agnes posted 10/29/2008

I had the opposite peeve just happen the other day: there was this lady I was interested in, and I talked to her for an hour, and near the end she mentioned her boyfriend for some reason. What a waste.

— Tri Force posted 1/14/2009

When parents start voicemail messages with "hey [name], it's your mother/father." » My husband does this with his kids! It never fails to drive me bugshit! – Mindy 7/26

Grubby, tangled haired children. » Keeping clean is one thing; the kids I see don't even start out clean. Parents and kids both seem to roll out of bed and go to the local WalMart (where else?) without so much as running as hairbrush through their hair or taking a bar of soap to their bodies. I think we can be quite sure they don't know what a toothbrush is for! The trend of wearing pajama bottoms in public needs to stop as well. – Mindy 7/26

When strangers try to touch my children. » Good god, it's like you read my mind. I absolutely hate it when I'm in the grocery store and people touch my son's feet or poke his little cheeks. Yes, I know he's the cutest thing on this earth but THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN TOUCH HIM – CakeThief 7/24

Air quotes. » use shocker quotes instead. form shocker with fingers, bend to mimic quoting action. – kn obel 7/22

When non-white street beggars call me racist when I don't give them money. » I always want to know if people would feel equally as badly if the opposite were true. Like, if you only gave money to non-white street beggars out of guilt/fear of being perceived as racist. That's racism, too, right? Right? No one complains about that one... – Chelsea 7/22

When non-white street beggars call me racist when I don't give them money. » Ugh. This happened to me when I declined to sign a petition without even hearing what it was about (I was also not a registered voter in that state AND was in a hurry). Jeez, I'm not racist! I hate all petition signature gatherers equally. – Kate 7/21

02.11.10

Send in your mobile phone pet peeves for the week of February 15th! Perhaps the simplest and most common generator of peeves, the mobile phone prods and pricks us in all places, public and private. With skull phones just around the corner, it’s likely these peeves will soon become irrelevant—so let’s spray them across the galaxy while we still can.

01.18.10

For the next week or so, the pictures for peeves will be of Peeve Pile’s national spokesperson, Rob Grace, and his special person, Shana, enacting various peeves. Please feel free to make such pictures yourself. Just include a link to them when submitting a peeve.

01.02.10

Hello. I’ve added a voting feature, so you can vote as you assume that you would – just click on a one-to-five star rating (it will tell you your vote has been recorded); five indicating that you completely agree with, or find the peeve amusing, one meaning the opposite.

Once a bunch of ratings are in, I’ll add a worst, and best rated area to the right column.