PEEVES by KAROLENA ››
Asymmetrical eyelid creases
When you wake up one morning and one eyelid is creased funny, making your whole face asymmetrical.
It means exactly the same thing as "while" but some think it's clever. If what you're saying is so boring that you need to spice it up with "whilst," then just don't say it.
Faux-accents developed after a brief residency abroad
Maybe you actually did pick up a slight British accent after your year of travel. It still sounds fake - and dumb.
White yuppies observing (or worse, complaining about) gentrification in their largely-minority neighborhood
I still can't believe this actually happens, but I see it all the time. Have some self-awareness!!