PEEVES in CONVERSATION ››
When people describe a fun time as a "scream"
Its usually some middle age person at the office describing some mildly funny thing that happened. "You should have seen Mary's husband dressed up as Madonna last Halloween, it was a SCREAM!" Stop trying to make things sound more raucous than they are!
— robs from Pittsburgh | Conversation | 3.20.2010 | Comments (0)
People who say 'by chance' at the end of a question
'Do you know the time, by chance?' If I know the time it's because I looked when you asked me. If you need to ask me to do something just ask like a normal person.
— janessadawn from Spokane, WA | Conversation | 3.21.2010 | Comments (0)
Being told other people have it worse when I talk about a problem I have.
Look, I know there are people in this world who don't have any parents/have terminal illnesses/are starving and living in a shanty. I never claimed to be the most unfortunate person on Earth in the first place, but thanks for the guilt trip anyway.
— B. Alexander from Long Beach | Conversation | 3.6.2010 | Comments (4)
Receiving an email regarding a phone call.
I abhor when people email asking if there is a good time that they can call you. You have my number, JUST USE IT. CUT OUT THE MIDDLEMAN.
— Rakkelle from Nosleep, Brooklyn | Conversation | 3.2.2010 | Comments (3)
— Gorgo from St. Louis, MO | Conversation | 2.18.2010 | Comments (1)
"Keep it down to a dull roar"
Did you know that "dull" and "roar" mean two totally different things? If you want it quiet, just say "quiet down"! No need for this wishy-washy, passive aggressive nonsense.
— kimk from Vermont | Conversation | 1.17.2010 | Comments (1)
There's more to the story that you don't know.
It's the adult version of "I know a secret and I'm not gonna tell you". Either tell me or don't, I don't give a shit, but don't tell me you're NOT gonna tell me and act all smug that you know some trivia detail of the drama that you're not going to deign to tell me.
— Brandi from California | Conversation | 12.28.2009 | Comments (2)
"Phone Tag"
Tell her we're playing phone tag, and TAG! She's it! GOD Shut up! Just Shut Up!! How original of you to come up with that humorous little quip! We all had a hearty little chuckle when we hearty that one!
— Cathi Fort Myers from Florida | Conversation | 1.16.2010 | Comments (0)
Air quotes.
I always wonder who the douche was that invented air quotes. It is so pretentious and obnoxious!
— People who use from Orlando, Florida | Conversation | 1.22.2010 | Comments (1)
When people tell me to "calm down" when I am already calm.
I WAS calm. Now I am irate.
— Sully from Maryland | Conversation | 10.11.2009 | Comments (3)
When people ask you for your advice, then don't take it.
As a computer person, people often ask me about what they should do with their computer; what hard drive they should buy, how they should set up their website, etc. When I give them good, expensive advice, they often deny my 'expert' opinion and instead go with whatever it was they were going to do in the first place.
This also applies when asking a waitress what she recommends, someone on the street for directions, and what to do in a relationship situation.
— Biffy from Brooklyn, NY | Conversation | 12.12.2009 | Comments (0)
When people continue talking to you when it's obvious you can't hear them.
They're in the bathroom washing their hands and you're all the way down the hall and they just keep talking. Then they get angry when you say you didn't hear them!
— S.L.A.B from Canada | Conversation | 12.10.2009 | Comments (0)
"That was a joke."
Yeah, I'm not an idiot. It just wasn't funny.
— Carmen from Austria | Conversation | 11.14.2009 | Comments (3)
People who tack on the suffix '-gasm' to the end of things to denote an enjoyable experience.
"That restaurant was so good, I had a food-gasm."
"You should have seen the sales, I had a shopping-gasm."
— B from Queens, NY | Conversation | 8.10.2009 | Comments (4)
People with no sense of geographical orientation
When people say something like "Come on UP and visit us sometime" and they live 600 miles south of you.
or:
"I think I'm gonna drive down to Nova Scotia this weekend."
— Dan Horemaster from Macknugget, New York | Conversation | 7.6.2009 | Comments (5)
When people respond to harmless questions with evasive answers/"comedic" impressions/deliberate attempts to change the subject.
Q: What's for dinner? A: Stone soup, hah hah hah! Q: So what did you do today? A: [speaking in Antonio Banderas accent] Wouldn't you like to know... Q: Do you want to go for a walk? A: Walks are nice sometimes. Q: What time is it? A: [speaks in Groucho Marx voice] Later than you think! So either you think my question is irrelevant (thanks for respecting my motives!), or you like being manipulative and withholding, or you're a douche who thinks he/she is "above" normal conversation. It's not like I asked you if you're an adult bed wetter, so just answer the damn question and stop annoying the shit out of me.
— Diana from Brooklyn, NY | Conversation | 9.19.2009 | Comments (1)
People who answer their cells and say "hi, I can't talk now." What the fuck is voicemail for?
This happens in meetings, when you're trying to have lunch with a friend, in quiet study areas in libraries.
— annoyedgirl from Atlanta | Conversation | 9.1.2009 | Comments (0)
"You cut your hair!"
Is it really necessary to point out what I obviously already know? I had NO IDEA I sat in a chair at a salon for an hour and chopped off my hair.
— Katy from Indiana | Conversation | 12.13.2009 | Comments (2)
"Say something funny"
Saying this to me apropos nothing.
— Mustafa from NYC | Conversation | 4.26.2009 | Comments (1)
People who complain about not having any money but who do nothing to curb their spending.
For several days in a row, a coworker notes that she and her husband are very short on cash right now and don't have the money needed for a specific event (paying taxes, unexpected bills, etc.), yet she goes out to lunch every day! No wonder she's broke.
— Cheryl from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania | Conversation | 4.17.2009 | Comments (4)
People who use the word "and" when saying a year or number
2008 is not pronounced two thousand AND eight, it's just two thousand eight. There is no "and" in numbers, EVER!
— Melanie from Flint, Michigan | Conversation | 5.9.2009 | Comments (12)
Calling it Turkey Day.
Just say Thanksgiving. The only reason to call it Turkey Day is to be cute, and it's not cute, so cut it out. Plus, why do people say stuff like, "I can't wait for turkey!" or "Enjoy the turkey!"? Turkey's not THAT great. I mean, it's not the part that I am like OH YES about. Wine and pie is a lot more exciting. Even stuffing. Stupid turkey.
— jmc from long island city | Conversation | 11.27.2008 | Comments (4)
when asked to go around the room and tell something interesting about yourself
not all of us live intriguing lives or have certain quirks we'd like to share with strangers
— lean from cbus | Conversation | 12.3.2008 | Comments (4)
Talking to someone on the phone while they're checking their email or watching television.
Every once and awhile I'll stop talking. There will be a long pause, and then a "Uh huh...." from them.
— Molly from New York, NY | Conversation | 12.1.2008 | Comments (0)
People who call and text with complete disregard for time zone differences.
It's great that you're compelled to call "just to say you're thinking of me" at 8 am in Baltimore, but at 5 am in LA, I think you're an asshole.
— Katie from Los Angeles | Conversation | 4.22.2009 | Comments (1)
— Heather C from New York, NY | Conversation | 11.6.2008 | Comments (2)
When people ask me "Where I'm from", when they actually want to know what my ethnicity is.
person a: Hey, so where are you from?
me: I'm from Washington DC.
person a:...no, I mean, *where* are you from?
— zoomusicgirl from Washington DC | Conversation | 11.18.2008 | Comments (8)
Yawning and talking at the same time!
— Fizuzu from Washington, DC | Conversation | 11.21.2008 | Comments (1)
Getting "shhh"'d.
I'm a grown adult, not a child. Don't "shh" me.
— bb from Texas | Conversation | 10.10.2009 | Comments (3)
Social nicety bullies.
If I talk to you 3 to 4 times a day on the phone and in person for business, I am not going to ask "How are you?" every time. So, please don't be that jerk and after I've answered, "Fine" for the third time today to your question say: "Aren't you going to ask how I am?" OR "I asked how your weekend was ... you must not want to hear about mine or you would've asked."
— Christina from Milwaukee | Conversation | 6.27.2009 | Comments (4)
"I'm sorry if you feel that way." - and any variation of said phrase.
Another good one: "I'm sorry if I made you feel bad." Grrrrrrrrr. Nononono. Don't apologize for how I feel. Don't "apologize" if you think I'm reacting inappropriately to something you said or did. It's incredibly immature. If you truly are sorry for something, say it. Say, "I'm sorry I said that" or whatever the occasion calls for. Simple, straightforward, honest.
— mybossisanidiot from greenville | Conversation | 10.30.2008 | Comments (5)
People saying "we got the memo?" (or such) when two or more people are wearing similar outfits or colors.
I can see it coming and I start to cringe... someone walks toward me wearing a similar outfit/colors. Then comes out of their mouth "oh! you must have got the memo!". You are so original to say that! I can't believe it! Wow!!! And I have to act like I have never heard that before and that they are the wittiest person alive! whee!
— maeby funke from Boston, MA | Conversation | 11.13.2008 | Comments (1)
When someone says, "I don't mean to be insulting, but..." and then goes on to say something insulting.
"I don't mean to be insulting, but you look awful."
Thanks. I'm now totally insulted and I know you know it.
— Liza from N.H. | Conversation | 10.24.2008 | Comments (3)
when someone calls and has nothing to talk about
and expects me to carry the conversation. guess what? you called me. i'd like those 10 minutes back you just took from my life.
— earthGirl from NJ | Conversation | 11.14.2008 | Comments (1)
"Hold on, I'll look it up on the internet!"
When you and a friend are having a conversation, casually wondering about something and the friend decides to look up the answer on the internet. First of all, sometimes it's nice to just wonder about something and discuss various possibilities without knowing the actual answer. Second of all, by the time the friend finds the answer, I usually don't care anymore. Third of all, the friend will usually proceed to check his email or also look at some other site, and the entire conversation becomes derailed and subsequently focused on whatever sites the friend happens to be surfing.
— Rob from Brooklyn, NY | Conversation | 10.8.2008 | Comments (3)
"You do the math." Along with "It's a no-brainer."
If it's such an easy decision to make, why are you still talking at me?
— Kerrin from e.g. Tuscaloosa, Alabama | Conversation | 10.15.2008 | Comments (1)
"It is what it is"
No further explanation necessary. It is what it is.
— Stinkstunk Stookie from Amagansett | Conversation | 12.30.2008 | Comments (1)
When people adopt an accent to say a foreign word even when foreign word is in common parlance
Commonly occurs when people are pronouncing the names of foreign countries or foods. Especially Mexican foods.
— Vagina Jones from Aberdeen, WA | Conversation | 1.3.2009 | Comments (10)
Adults calling their boy/girlfriend "my friend"
— Grome from Plaguetoma, NY | Conversation | 11.14.2008 | Comments (2)
Updates from other people on my current mood.
— Grome from Yunoy, ME | Conversation | 9.11.2008 | Comments (3)
Serious conversations on the dance floor.
If you're grinding up against me and "umbrella ella ella eh eh" is playing at incredibly high decibels, it's probably not the best time to decide whether you should go to law school, if the Shiites are really to blame, or what comes after post-modernism.
— vagina Jones from Aberdeen, washington | Conversation | 3.30.2009 | Comments (0)
"You kids have fun tonight!" along with other types of condescending kid-inclusive phrases.
The implication being, in some cases, that you are intimately involved with the other "kid," when that may or not be the case, but it is always the case that you don't want this information puked on right right before you may or may not "have fun."
— Biffy from Brooklyn, NY | Conversation | 9.17.2008 | Comments (0)
People making you feel worse about missing something fun.
When you can't go somewhere fun because you are committed to something less fun and then that person makes you feel even worse about missing it. "I can't go to South by Southwest because I already have plane tickets to visit my dad in Florida." "Oh that's sucks, it's going to be so fucking fun."
— Daniel Skuzzrager from Grand Army PizzaHut | Conversation | 5.14.2009 | Comments (1)
Broad, sweeping generalizations about the differences between men and women
I hear at least one a week. The latest one was "Women just want to get engaged but men actually want to get married." There was something interesting about this, I admit--like women like the idea of being asked and men are thinking more about what comes after the asking--but really, does any divisive claim about Women v Men ever really ring true? It makes me feel like i'm on the Oxygen Network or reading Maxim or something.
— Lorraine Goldsworthy from Chicago, IL | Conversation | 2.16.2009 | Comments (3)
When a conversation is subordinated to a ringing telephone
"Sorry, I know we're talking about something really important right now, but this ringing telephone has absolute control over my life, so we'll have to finish speaking later."
— Deedee Kay from Maryland | Conversation | 11.9.2009 | Comments (6)
When person you were talking to couldn't hear you.
"Sorry, Stu, I think you were mumbling a little. I couldn't hear you." You know what? just forget it!
— Stuart from Brooklyn, NY | Conversation | 6.2.2009 | Comments (5)
Getting off the phone.
Except in purely business conversations, always seems to take forever. Usually a first, preliminary, questioning "bye" or "talk to you soon" before the official bye.
— Stuart from | Conversation | 4.30.2009 | Comments (1)
When talking on the phone: the interval of time before you realize the call has been disconnected.
— hairnette funicello from malibu | Conversation | 4.27.2009 | Comments (1)
Accounts of what you dreamt about last night.
Unless I was in it, I'm not listening.
— vagina jones from aberdeen, washington | Conversation | 10.23.2008 | Comments (4)
When, in an unfamiliar social situation, people use false or mundane things in common as a thesis for why you should be friends.
This is especially annoying when it leads to the comparison of two interests that aren't alike at all: "Oh, wow, you're a poet? I really love nursery rhymes and Dr. Seuss! What a coincidence!" or "You're creative, right? I'm totally going to subscribe you to my daily newsletter about these autistic children who are learning to finger paint. I think you would find it really meaningful."
— Diana from Brooklyn | Conversation | 2.22.2009 | Comments (4)
Willful intrusion into private time.
When you're having a private, quiet smoke or snack and someone intrudes and begins talking -- starting with, "I know you're smoking/eating but ..." -- and then proceeds to occupy your entire time (or cigarette break) talking to you.
— gowest from texas | Conversation | 1.27.2010 | Comments (1)
"Howdy" as a way to say hello.
My roommate knows of no other way to greet someone. Peeves me to no end because of how predictable it is. Also this is California and no one says howdy anyways.
— conor from san francisco, ca | Conversation | 4.13.2009 | Comments (2)
Waking me up to ask if I was asleep.
"Hey, are you sleeping? (nudge) Dude, were you asleep?" Not anymore, dick!
— David from The Mountains, Colorado | Conversation | 5.2.2009 | Comments (2)
When people use the word "olfactorily."
It's stink-ass snobby.
— Holly from New York, NY | Conversation | 5.11.2009 | Comments (6)
Someone calling from a blocked number or a friend's phone after I repeatedly refuse to answer their calls.
Someone will call me from their phone time after time and I won't answer. Maybe I don't feel like talking to them. Then they call back five minutes later from either a friend's phone or a blocked (private) number. You just called me multiple times from a recognized number; do you really think I'm dumb enough to fall for that?
— Ajay from Greenville, Alabama | Conversation | 9.15.2009 | Comments (0)
— Biffy from Brooklyn | Conversation | 9.23.2008 | Comments (5)
When someone younger than you repeatedly calls you "hun" as if they were your parent.
— Lauren from NY | Conversation | 10.4.2009 | Comments (3)
"You know who you remind me of?"
— goroo from nyc | Conversation | 4.3.2009 | Comments (1)
Saying, "lull in the conversation!" or, "awkward silence!"
It isn't awkward until someone points it out, and why can't people be together without talking for a few moments?
— Falora from | Conversation | 6.3.2009 | Comments (3)
When people say, "It's a long story" when really they just don't want to tell you the story.
Just tell me that you really don't want to tell me story, I'll understand. Or, maybe, "I don't want to get into it now."
— Biffy from Brooklyn, NY | Conversation | 11.23.2009 | Comments (0)
"You're young at heart."
This irritates me. It implies that people shouldn't have fun, wild personalities after a certain age; they should instead let them die for a life of morbid banality.
— Chauncey from Brooklyn, NY | Conversation | 6.15.2009 | Comments (1)
"Tell them the story about how you ..."
— Glorr from nyc | Conversation | 8.6.2009 | Comments (2)
When a guy replies with "I'm a DJ" in response to a "What do you do?" questions.
— Pimpette from NYC | Conversation | 12.7.2009 | Comments (1)
"I'm bad at names."
No, you're not. No one is bad at names. Names are not the violin. Names are not something you can be bad at. What you are is lazy and uninterested in making the fractional effort required to remember someone's name, before glossing over this laziness with the self-satisfied excuse of "call me the absent-minded professor!"
— Goome from New York City | Conversation | 5.21.2009 | Comments (13)
Dismissing an individual or exusing bad behavior based on astrology.
Such as, "Yeah, he's a great guy, had the best sex of my life and we get along great but he's SUCH a capricon. I just can't date capricons." Or, "I am sorry my son doesn't come to school. He really likes your class, but he's a gemini. I mean, that's just a typical gemini for you." On time I took my sickly cat to the vet, and the doctor said, "Yeah, well, you are going to start brushing his teeth. It's going to be really hard because he's a taurus, you know how THEY can be."
— Rachocolate from not sure | Conversation | 9.27.2008 | Comments (3)
When people converse solely with movie quotes, especially when I haven't seen the film.
— Erik from San Jose, California | Conversation | 3.19.2009 | Comments (1)
When someone says, "that's really funny" but doesn't laugh.
Unless you mean funny as weird-funny, or funny-tasting, I guess it's not really that funny.
— Biffy from Brooklyn, NY | Conversation | 8.3.2009 | Comments (10)
People who insist you repeat unimportant things.
You're in a conversation with a friend and you make a bad joke or something, and they either don't hear it or don't understand it. You say "nevermind" or "don't worry" or "it's not important," but that's not good enough for them. They insist you tell them what it was. And you don't want to, cause it was dumb or embarressing or in some otherway useless. But the push the issue and eventually you tell them and their dissappointed cause it was dumb and you're mad that they didn't take your word for it a leave it alone.
— Matt Parker from New York, NY | Conversation | 11.9.2008 | Comments (4)
"It's supposed to be bad."
Nothing is supposed to be bad. If it's of low fidelity, for instance, then it's low fidelity, but still good. If you think something is bad, it is bad.
— Biffy from Brooklyn, NY | Conversation | 11.25.2009 | Comments (0)
"I could care less" as hyperbole.
— Hastings from Somerville | Conversation | 8.16.2009 | Comments (5)
When someone responds to a situation or desire you've described by saying that it happens to everyone.
... thereby implying that any associated sensations are not genuine.
— Biffy from Brooklyn, NY | Conversation | 10.21.2008 | Comments (1)
When people end a phone conversation with out saying "goodbye."
I used to think this was the sorta thing that only happened in movies, but my girlfriend does it ALL THE TIME!!! We'll be having a conversation and she'll say something like "I'm not sure, I guess we'll meet up later." And I'll respond with something like "Well, let's make a plan. I was thinking..." and after about 2 minutes, I'll realize she hung up when she was done talking. I feel like the cellphone companies need to bring back the dial tone to compensate for these people.
— Matt Parker from New York, NY | Conversation | 11.21.2008 | Comments (7)
Forced poetry.
When someone forces you to listen to poetry that they have written and then is disapointed that you don't have any positive feedback.
— Kari from brooklyn, ny | Conversation | 6.9.2009 | Comments (5)
Someone including you in their own lowly description of themselves.
E.g., "God, we're such losers," or "Hey I guess some people just have it, not us!"
— Biffy from Brooklyn, NY | Conversation | 1.3.2010 | Comments (1)
Your describing someone I don't know as "really smart."
This fails as a stimulating description of someone I'm supposed to want to know. Besides, I'll make up my own mind about that.
— Tom from nyc | Conversation | 2.24.2009 | Comments (10)
— Trevor from san francisco, california | Conversation | 12.14.2009 | Comments (7)
People apologizing for things they have no control over.
This woman I work with apologized for it being cold today. Then I came home and that guy Dick Cheney shot in the face was on TV apologizing to DICK CHENEY for being shot in the face.
— Rachel from scamptown | Conversation | 7.5.2009 | Comments (1)
People who deliberately pronounce words incorrectly and repeatedly.
A coworker of mine is forever deciding which restERAAAnt to have dinner at.
— Bones from New York | Conversation | 11.5.2008 | Comments (17)
Someone using a "big" word, then immediately defining it while looking quizzically into your eyes.
It presents an interesting situation: you're given the choice to either ignore this behavior or seem rude and snippy by replying, "I know what that means." Either way, the person speaking with you has made the assumption that you don't know the word, and therefore finds themselves smarter.
— Biffy from Brooklyn, NY | Conversation | 10.23.2008 | Comments (4)
Repetition of 'goodbye formalities' on the phone
ME: "Take care!"
MY MOTHER: "Take care."
ME: "OK!"
MY MOTHER: "OK!"
ME: "Goodbye!"
MY MOTHER: "Goodbye!"
— Alana Post from Brooklyn | Conversation | 8.11.2009 | Comments (3)
People who offer you food and will not take no for an answer.
— Penny Lane from Northampton MA | Conversation | 11.27.2008 | Comments (7)
— The Chimney Sweep from Your Chimney | Conversation | 6.16.2009 | Comments (0)
